


(no such thing as) Endgame

by Anonymous



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Exes, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Meta, Multi, Not Beta Read, Other, Season Five Speculation, Sexual Content, Time Skips, Unhappy Ending, Weddings, and he told me to tags the ships so I did, but still not a happy ending, every S4 ship is referenced but again unhappy endings so not tagging the specific ships, jughead gets drunk enough to see the 4th wall, just mocking some of the stupidity that fics and/or canon are doing with Jug's character, none of these chapters are in the same continuity, post 4x17, references to shower sex, second chapter is more of a parody, so nobody can get pissed that it's tagged but doesn't turn out well, though I suppose the phone calls could work with the first one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: All's well that ends well, right?
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would actually happen if a little 'realism' found it's way into Riverdale after all this time?

It all falls apart between prom and graduation, the bonds of love and friendship grown since childhood and reinforced over three years of attacks from the outside shattering from the mistakes made within.

Veronica won't speak to her, Archie swings from embarrassing public displays to guiltily avoiding everyone, and Betty begs Jughead for a second chance, swears she loves him (a truth she feels deep down in her soul) and only wants him (a lie he easily calls her out on now) because some part of her would have said yes to Archie and to the offer in his song, if only out of pure curiosity, but only really held back because of the guilt and shame of cheating

So when summer arrives he leaves for Iowa, she leaves for Yale, and none of them stay in touch, nearly everyone they used to know avoiding trips to Riverdale as much as possible, though Alice manages to guilt Betty into at least two trips a year thanks to Polly's slow but steady recovery and the twins moving in with their grandmother.

Jughead never visits at all, avoiding her and his oldest friend and all the memories they made together in their wicked little town, and Betty's once friendly and familiar relationships with FP and especially JB start to fray as well. The house on Elm street gets remodeled slowly, making it suitable for the twins (in the attic) and Polly (in the basement) to live there too... but no amount of remodeling will bring the missing Jones boy home to his father and sister. And Betty knows FP and Alice start fighting, about the cost of the changes to the house, what went wrong with their one shared child who is now in prison, about how to parent a teenage JB, and a hundred other little things over the next few years, though never directly about her mistakes or continued presence in the house that technically still says Jones on the title, at least not that she is aware of.

The only people she ever sees or really speaks to from RHS Class of 2020 for the first three years of college are Kevin and Cheryl, who both enjoy the drama too much too fully take sides. Reggie chooses Ronnie (at least in part for the rebound sex), Sweet Pea simple vanishes, Fangs is coldly cordial, and Toni's parting words about loyalty and honesty are delivered with pure venom as she claims the title Serpent Queen

So it's honestly a surprise when someone calls her name during a lonely evening walk by the river the summer before her senior year at Yale, during her one week off before heading to DC for an internship at the DOJ... and of course it's the redhead who ruined everything. Archie apologizes and she can't find it in her heart to be angry anymore. They have less than two days in Riverdale at the same time but they spend as much of it together as possible and make it from awkward almost-exes to something close to the deep and outwardly innocent friendship they shared Junior and Senior year of high school.

This time they keep in touch, texting occasionally, even honestly admitting to the meaningless hookups they both find in New Haven (she gave Jughead till the end of 2020 to make any sort of gesture towards reconciling before moving on and fully exploring her options) and Baltimore (Archie found his next conquest at the first summer party after they graduated high school and went on from there without looking back) while carefully avoiding any discussion of their own missed opportunities or their dark haired counterparts.

Half a year later they are both back in town for the holidays, waving through curtains that are finally left open, and on the 26th she takes a tray of cookies and other treats next door for him and Mary and Brooke, only to find his mother and step-mother are at a party in Centerville and he has 'grown up' eggnog instead of the hot chocolate they used to share this time of year.

Betty knows exactly what is going to happen the moment she takes her coat and boots off, even before they turn off the main lights and start drinking and sharing cookies on his living room couch with only the colored lights of the fake plastic tree and moonlight reflecting off the snow outside to illuminate them both. 

Maybe it's the decade of growing tension that is finally released, or maybe it's the dairy and rum consumed in just the right quantity to lower their inhibitions (and temporarily wipe away her memories of a beanie wearing 16 year old boy predicting this outcome with absolute confidence) while leaving their fine motor skills... but either way it's the best sex of her life when they end up naked right there on the living room floor.

The second round in his bed and third round in the morning are nearly as good, certainly good enough for her to agree to see him again and make her downright giddy as she gets dressed and goes next door.

Betty Cooper has slipped out of trailers, bunkers, frat houses, and dorm rooms more times than she can count but she never truly understood the phrase 'walk of shame' till she tries to sneak into the back door of the house she grew up in as the sun rises over Riverdale... and runs right into Jellybean Jones pacing in the kitchen while on the phone, sending them both tumbling to the floor. The teenager scowls at the older blonde as she picks up her phone and says, while holding eye contact and with a coldness that Betty knows she deserves, "Sorry about that... Betty knocked my phone away sneaking in from next door", not even needing to say who she is speaking with to send Betty away full of guilt and regrets.

But now she's not even sure what she regrets, just knowing that this isn't how she wanted her life to go at least in terms of her relationships with what were for three great (and terrible) years her three closest friends. 

Her and Archie part ways again after New Years, but now their texts are explicitly sexual and though she never insists on exclusivity or labels it feels like it's finally happening, with the pair of them taking every chance to meet up especially after finishing college as she heads to Quantico for training and he is assigned to one of the many bases in the Tidewater region a few hours away. They go weeks at a time without meeting up, and then spend hours naked together to make up for it when they have a chance to meet up, never really digging into what they both want long-term or even the practical realities of being a couple. 

For two years this continues, and she hears rumors of a book being published by J Jones III and a wedding in the Hamptons paid for by Hiram Lodge but doesn't dig into them, preferring not to know and unable to decide if them being happy without Betty Cooper in their lives would make it better or worse. 

Then two years after finishing college and six after the end of high school, slowly but seemingly all at once, things start to change...

Archie gets injured and accepts a discharge before returning to Riverdale and applying to the fire department

Betty gets assigned a case involving missing persons in upstate New York and is all but ordered to move back home

JB gets a scholarship for engineering at Georgia Tech

FP finds a job outside of Atlanta and sells the house back to Alice to move down there

She's not certain if FP would have left anyway, but the looks Betty gets as Archie helps her move back in and the Jones's both move out, all during the same sticky hot summer week, make it clear that the timing was not a coincidence and that the man she once looked forward to calling father-in-law cannot stand the sight of the woman who broke his son's heart. For the first time in years she overhears reliable news about her ex from JB, confirming that Jughead is living in a shitty apartment outside of Chicago and wasting his publishing royalties on cheap whiskey. 

Betty tries to tell herself it's not (entirely) her fault, but the words ring hollow as she sits in the room she shared with someone else for over a year... so she goes next door and gets Archie to help her stop thinking the way he does best. 

They are now together, no other girls showing up at his house and they spend more nights together than apart, at times making her wonder if she carried her boxes into the wrong house when she returned to Elm Street after six years away. At first it is everything she ever wanted, the redhead next door walking her home from Pop's (where the old man looks oddly sad to see them but his granddaughter is happy to take their money), making out by the river in the back of Fred's old truck, and everything else that goes with falling in love in Riverdale.

But it's not all perfect, not that she expected it to be, but things she didn't notice during their times apart start to bubble up to the surface...

They barely have any overlap in their movie or TV tastes, so most attempts to watch something turns into sex or someone falling asleep

He never reads anything more involved than an NFL season preview magazine and certainly doesn't stay up till 3 AM comparing notes on a classic work of literature

The sex that was so great when they first got together and then were kept apart for weeks or months at a time slowly begins to drift towards boring and routine

He never helps her with investigations, not even providing moments of mental clarity when trying to distract her

Living next door to each other, while romantic for pre-teen fantasies, is actually downright awkward when trying to decide where to sleep when she hasn't been asked to move in (yet) and with her niece and nephew seemingly always aware of her movements

More than half of their conversations begin with 'remember when', which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of them didn't end awkwardly when a beanie wearing boy (or more rarely a dark haired girl in pearls) inevitably makes an appearance in their shared memories

But it's her and it's Archie and they are together so they make it work and she still grins when his eyes meet hers, whether at Pop's or when waking up in his bed (they never, not even after FP has been gone for months, go to her room for that) or even just randomly running into each other while running errands. 

On the 10th anniversary of Jason's death, everything starts to fall apart at the same time as if scripted by some particularly cruel higher power.

Jughead and some dark haired girl are spotted at Pop's together, Veronica and her asshole of a husband roll into town, and what at first appeared to be a minor and understandable relapse in Polly's mental health spirals and she vanishes into the night, leaving the red door open and for the first time in years tying Betty's personal life and her case work overlap as there are signs that she was taken like the other missing persons she has yet to find after a year. 

Betty wishes she felt better at the sight of a wedding band on Veronica's finger when the former BFF's meet and make an awkward attempt to mend things, but the fact that Ronnie refuses to even see Archie and the look of sadness (and hint of fear) in her eyes every time Chad is around makes that impossible.

She's even less sure what to make of the angry young man she once called hers, who according to Kevin (who heard from Fangs and Toni) is living with this Jess girl somewhere near Midvale, the flannel (but not beanie) wearing lovers only slipping up into Riverdale itself on weekends to eat at Pop's and reunite with the Serpents, though he never takes back a leather jacket. Instead he stumbles into her, late one Tuesday night, while following a lead on the rumors about a 'mothman' in the woods... research for a book he is trying to write apparently.

It's beyond awkward, tense in a way that makes Betty sick to her stomach, but when she asks about Jess she tries to pretend that him moving on means she didn't really hurt him by cheating with (and then eventually dating) Archie but he refuses to discuss his new lover as he stalks away after walking her back to Betty's car and quickly turning down his offer of a ride home despite the hint of booze on his breath. 

Stress over missing Polly and the return of two people she loved yet hurt so badly disrupts her routines, making her miss meals and appointments, turning what used to be lazy nights in bed with Archie into faster, and admittedly more heated, couplings when they find time for each other.

It's not till Jughead's birthday, a party at the newly reopened White Wyrm that Betty and Archie are not invited to and wisely choose to avoid, that the truth about Jessica comes out... a Gregslist 'ISO of short term room mate' arrangement that everyone jumped to conclusions about and Jughead didn't bother to correct. Over the next few weeks Betty starts to wonder if her first lover truly never moved on from her and if not what that really means, even as she realizes Archie is away from his house more and more even when there isn't any emergencies or reasons for him to be away and it's been a while since they even properly made out much less had sex. 

One Saturday night she sneaks over, expecting to surprise him while he's watching a college game or otherwise relaxing, and there's nobody home. She texts and gets no reply, and checks her 911 scanner hearing nothing of note in the entire county, and starts to wonder and worry... the phrase 'once a cheater always a cheater' rising to the front of her mind even as she debates between staying in his house or returning to hers right next door. Eventually she falls asleep in his bed, only awakening at the sounds of heavy feet on the stairs, doing her best to avoid the nausea she has had every morning for a week.

She rushes out, unsure what to say or expect and torn between slapping him and hugging him... but before she can get close enough to do either she smells it, the same mix of perfume and other scents she associates with double dates and sleepovers in high school.

Her voice and heart both break as she asks "You and Veronica?" and his big brown eyes give the same guilty look that she remembers from May and June of senior year before he tries to explain about the dark haired woman being in danger and needing him and things just getting out of hand but the blonde refuses to hear his excuses, shoving past him as the tears start to fall.

By the time the sun is setting that night she has the address to Jughead's apartment (technically by breaking the rules with her FP database access) and makes her way there, knocking on the door and praying Jessica isn't home regardless of the true nature of that situation. The door swings up and she looks up at the blue eyes... colder and darker than she recalls, but sees just a hint of hope in them as Jughead steps back to let her inside. 

She briefly notes that Gone With The Wind is playing on his laptop, and there's a few too many empty bottles around the cramped apartment, but he seems sober and alert as he asks "What are you doing here Cooper?", his gaze fixed on her alone.

She swallows the truth around the lump in her throat and instead replies "Haven't had much luck with my case, was hoping we could compare notes? Maybe schedule a time to go investigating... together... ", trailing off as she doesn't really know how to finish the thought and seeing his expression shift as he finally looks away.

"I cannot... I fucking cannot believe... after... I mean seriously?", he all but growls, for a moment looking like he's going to punch through the nearest piece of drywall before shaking his head and telling her to "Get out. Get out of my apartment and out of my life and out of my fucking head" 

She steps back but blurts out "What, what do you mean? What's wrong Juggie?", the old nickname escaping her even as he frowns at it and pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking he head.

"There was a part of me that, in spite of everything, could have maybe lived with being your back up plan, certainly at least try to be friends again... but you can't even be honest about that, about anything, it's pathological how you just lie and lie to me about anything related to him" he declares, all but yelling at her just like he did that fateful day in the bunker, crowding her back towards the still open door "Your eyes are red and I saw them together last night and you don't even have the decency to be fucking honest about why you are here Betty. Pretending it's about investigating when you are once again let down by your idiotic redhead and have to settle for me"

Betty had one foot on the threshold as she started crying again and sobbing as she responded "I'm... I'm so sorry I just... I didn't... I never stopped loving you and didn't know where else to go" but before she could finish he all but shoved her outside, his own eyes tearing up.

"No, you never loved me. You never really wanted me, not the way I wanted you, where you were the only one for me" he replies. "Maybe I'm the one defining the words wrong, maybe I'm the pitiful one for never getting over my elementary school crush and never even dating anyone else, maybe I'm the fool for thinking we ever stood a chance, but it doesn't matter now"

"Please... Jughead, if you, if we... what if this is our chance to start again, to make it work? What am I supposed to do without any of you in my life?" Betty pleaded, even as Rhett and Scarlett were arguing on the screen behind him that he turned to, the smallest hint of a smile gracing his face as he nods at something as if agreeing with a silent conversation.

Turning back to her he held her gaze, and before the door slammed shut and was locked in her face to remove him from her sight for the last time in their lives, Jughead quoted as coldly as he could "Frankly, my dear, I don't give damn"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just poking some fun at the shitty characterization of Jughead post-Stonewall and/or post-4x17 that I keep seeing... and a couple of the stupid tropes that pop up as well...

She should have realized something was wrong with Jughead much sooner...

He'd straight up forgiven her for cheating on him with Archie of all people, and even assured her that he still wanted to go to prom instead of just staying in to work out their issues and avoid the drama that was inevitable... that should have been her cue to stop everything and figure out what was really wrong. 

Then when he left for Iowa he became fast friends with his roommate, and then the same boy who nearly dumped her for throwing him a birthday party and was literally the victim of attempted murder the last time he went to a party... started posting selfies from parties on social media accounts he hadn't even had in high school.

By the time they came home for winter break he seemed to think there was a spare bedroom at the house for him to sleep in, not wanting to keep her up while he texted and played video games all night with his new friends... but of course there wasn't and never had been an extra room at the house (Alice would never have let they share a room senior year if there was any other option, and it had taken a solid week for FP to convince her not to force Betty and JB to share instead) so even after making love in the bed they'd shared he stayed up late texting seemingly dozens of different people. 

And when he wasn't virtually spending time with his online friends he was treating Archie to burgers at Pop's and asking Cheryl all about her freshman year... even texting Ronnie to see if she wanted to come back for a New Year's Eve bash back in Riverdale despite the Lodge heiress cutting everyone out of her life the moment she walked off the stage at graduation.

Frankly it was bizarre seeing the self proclaimed weirdo not only tolerating social events but actively encouraging them, but at the same time she enjoyed it more than she could express or understand. 

But then, less than 48 hours before they were set to go their separate ways for college he began to shake and tremble and then fell over right in the middle of the living room, resulting in FP rushing him to the hospital with Betty holding him in the back seat of the car, JB and Alice gathering things for an overnight bag for him and of course Betty.

The doctors did some tests, ultimately using X-rays or an MRI or something to realize there was a piece of bone moving through his brain, apparently broken off when he was smashed in the back of his head and, having not been caught right away due to avoiding the hospital, slowly working it's way though his soft grey brain over the last 7 months, screwing up his senses, his memories, even his personality. They'd had to shave half his hair off and cut him open to get it out, and Betty missed her return to New Haven waiting by his bedside for the dark haired young man to wake up.

And then he did, looking at her in anger the moment his eyes focused, ranting about Archie and betrayal and throwing his beanie away, and then his phone too when he noticed dozens of 'random assholes' had texted him well wishes and hoping for updates. He dropped out of school and once cleared to do so, simply ran away and cut everyone off like he nearly had after the homecoming dance as sophomores. 

She should have known, having been his friend for a decade and his lover for another three years, but it turned out the whole sociable and forgiving version of Jughead was nothing more than a side effect of brain damage. 

It was another five years before she realized (or at least admitted it to herself) she liked that version of him so much because he was becoming more and more like Archie, the one she really wanted but was too afraid to go to senior year.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jughead logs into A03 / reads the S5 script and discovers he has to become Archie (with a dash of S1 FP) to win back Betty...

Betty could have written down a hundred reasons why she chose Jughead, from the color of his eyes to the way they shared food at Pop's to how perfectly their bodies fit together no matter how much or little clothing they had on.

But if she had to pick just one reason, one specific thing that made him better for her than Archie, it was the knowledge that she was the only girl he wanted... and even if Archie wanted her for a time at the end of Senior Year there was plenty of evidence to suggest he'd move on afterwards.

Perhaps she should have written those hundred reasons down... even mailed them to Jughead at Iowa even after he pushed her away, claiming that he couldn't trust her and long distance and cheating combined was too much for their relationship (if not their love) to survive, that he was already thinking about 'setting her free and seeing what happens' even before finding out about the kiss and the bunker meetups that followed.

Perhaps that would have made all the difference.

She returned to Riverdale for the first time in years as an FBI agent, her case assigned due to her familiarity with the 'local situation and history', and assigned a slightly older and more experienced agent, Adam, to make sure she didn't go off the rails (and apparently to ask her about her dinner plans every afternoon), and within 24 hours she ran into the only man she had ever loved. Only she barely recognized him without a beanie or leather jacket, drunk and with some girl (Jess or Tess she wasn't sure given his slurred voice) on his lap. Even after seeing Betty at the rebuilt White Wyrm he carried on, making out with his girl and all but carrying her away... hopefully to an Uber or taxi and not driving to wherever he lived now.

Betty slowly mended things with the rather newly married Veronica, in town to work out some legal issues with her properties, and tried to put the jealousy of seeing Jughead making out with someone else in public out of her mind while focusing on the case. She even hung out with Archie after he started basically following her around like an abandoned puppy, though she made it very clear she had no desire to dig up any old feelings or mistakes.

Less than a month later Jess (confirmed to be her name by Toni) was gone, driven away by Jughead's drinking and late nights out... sometimes at the Wyrm but sometimes in the woods, seeking answers and inspiration on the nights he wasn't completely wasted.

Eventually Betty managed to get them to go together, hoping to at least keep the boy she still loved safe (and maybe, possibly, hopefully rekindle things the way they started the first time) and while it was alright at first it took a turn when she showed up at Pop's to meet up with him and found him investigating Tabitha Tate during her break.

This time she couldn't hold back the tears and she bolted, running back to her childhood home she had been staying at. FP had left when JB graduated, the pair of them making a fresh start somewhere else, yet another reason she was surprised to find Jughead in town, but apparently in addition to chasing girls he no longer valued spending time with his family either. He was someone completely different than the boy she fell in love with almost a full decade before.

The next time Betty saw him, she told him as such and he simply laughed, loud and obnoxious.

"I am exactly the boy you fell in love with nearly TWENTY years ago" he all but shouted at her. "You always wanted him... the boy who kissed any girl who stepped to close to him... so that's what I became just like you wanted. Even fucked a few of my professors at Iowa, though none were as hot as Ms Grundy. I fucked my roommates girlfriend in his bed, just like he fucked you in the bunker" 

Betty wiped away a tear and told him "I never did that Jug... and I never loved him the way I loved you, at least the you from high school... not this version... ", her voice cracking as her heart broke inside.

"Don't be silly Betty. This is what the people want.... " he replied, turning around and around and then stopping while facing towards the street focusing on something she couldn't see, "Isn't this what our viewers want? Just two hot alpha-males, battling for the pretty girl? Two man-whores whose only discernable different is hair color? Nobody ACTUALLY wants to see the shy anti-social guy get the girl without throwing away everything that makes him who he is, that's just bad writing am I right?" 

Now the blonde FBI agent was just confused, but the one time beanie wearing gang leader just kept ranting to an invisible camera about monogamy and true love being bullshit, finally turning back to Betty as he finished "And that's just for the TV show. You should see the shit they make me do in fan-fics... half the time I'm not even a virgin BEFORE we get together, much less remaining faithful to our love after you betray me and prove that trusting someone only gets me hurt" 

As he said that he passed out, right there on the lawn of the house they shared for a year. Adam showed up to help Betty get him inside, letting her ex sleep it off in the guest bedroom that was added the night of prom... the last mumbled words out of his mouth being "They wanna see the classic love triangle this season Betts... with milkshakes... " 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some phone calls over the years...

It was a relaxing Monday evening in Riverdale FP sat back on the sofa, hearing Alice and JB in the kitchen planning the feast they would be sharing later on in the week.

Pulling out his phone he dialed the number he used the most (barely edging out Alice) - his boy's phone, now with an Iowa area code. Jughead picked up right away, saying "Hey dad... ", just a hint of wariness about the nature of the call (instead of a text) in his voice.

"Hey Jug... just wanted to ask if you are sure you can't make it back. Alice and I found some cheap last minute flights" the older man said hopefully, only to get cut off right away.

"No Dad, I already told JB, I just... I can't be there. Not now, maybe not ever. We can have you two come out over the summer maybe if you want" his son stated firmly but calmly, no real hint of the anger or sadness that obviously was driving that decision.

FP swallowed once and nodded, missing his boy but gently saying "Alright, had to ask. You doing anything there local? Like a Friendsgiving or whatever the kids call it these days?"

This drew a laugh, but a bitter one, before the 19 year old started to rant "Well that would require me to have friends, wouldn't it? I live in a rental house ten minutes from anyone else instead of in a dorm like a normal freshman, since my last roommate taped me and used that for blackmail, and the last group of new people I met through classes harassed and bullied me for months, and the last party I went to put me in a coma for 36 hours... unless you count prom which hurt even worse. And let's not forget my two oldest friend lying to me. So no Dad, no fucking Friendsgiving here. I'll be holed up in my house, all the doors locked, eating leftover pizza and pretending like I am writing while watching pirated black and white movies" 

The father's heart broke again for his son but simply replied "Yeah, I know, I just... I worry about you Jug"

"Well that makes one of us Dad, I got to go, have a paper due tomorrow and have to finish editing" was the only response before they hung up.

Only then did Alice walk in, seeing his face and nodding as she reached down and squeezed FP's shoulder "Well guess it'll just be the four of us for Thanksgiving, though we're cooking enough for twice that many. Betty will be here this time tomorrow so I'm going to throw her linens in the laundry... ", turning around and heading upstairs.

As he watched her he wondered (for at least the twentieth time since the weekend of prom) if letting her and Betty stay, if dating a woman he was mostly with out of nostalgia for their misspent youths, was worth not seeing his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna add more to this chapter but wanted to post this bit tonight


	5. Chapter 5

Jughead still wasn't sure why he was even here.

He certainly wasn't in the wedding, like he had assumed he would be for the first 18.5 years of his life.

From the obvious choice of best man to 'random guest #77' in the span of eight years. Or really just a few moments, when his oldest friend kissed the only woman he had ever truly loved.

Certainly not the only woman he had ever fucked, or claimed to loved, or lived with. He went through them at a rate that his teenage self would have considered frankly alarming... just in the year since he had returned to Riverdale he'd had two girlfriends and at least five other hookups. Possibly six if waking up in bed next to Toni with a hangover the first night he returned meant what he thought it did, but he'd hurried back to his new apartment before confirming and she'd never mentioned it afterwards... despite having a baby who looked more like Jughead than the supposed sperm donor. 

But now he attended Archie's wedding, watching from near the back corner with a mix of boredom, disgust, and envy as the redhead married the girl of his dreams. 

Even more inexplicably, the boy who hated parties as a kid and teenager goes to the reception, watching the first dance and the happy couple cut the cake.

He avoids talking as much as he can, hiding in the corners and observing, making mental notes for what to include in his next work of 'fiction'.

But then, just as a Rolling Stones classic starts playing, he runs into her. Wearing a bridesmaids dress (though not the maid of honor), long blonde hair up in a fancy style, and seemingly happy that her BFF and boyhood crush say "I do" mere months after the foolish boy broke up with her.

Her big green eyes meet his sharp blue ones as Mick Jagger crones about the glass of wine that Betty is actually holding.

"This is just too cliche" Jughead points out, unable to hide his smirk as she smiles at him, nodding in agreement.

"But appropriate?" she asks, coy and almost playful, as if it's some sign... their lives playing out with a properly picked soundtrack like some cheesy TV drama.

"Well you certainly didn't get what you wanted. Not sure about the rest of it" he responds, his mood turning serious quickly as he debates whether they are doomed to end up together, if he really his what she needs even after all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone didn't get the song reference: https://youtu.be/jv9sDn_2XkI?t=57


	6. Chapter 6

It was the big day, and Jughead's heart was racing in excitement.

Just over three years after everyone had returned to Riverdale for Pop Tate and to help clean up their town. Nearly three years to the day since Betty Cooper had returned to him.

And now here he was, standing at the front of a chapel, all of their friends and the non-incarcerated portions of their families gathered to witness a wedding over 10 years in the making. His third book was selling well, the advance having paid for a decent ring and catered wedding (since Hal Cooper obviously wasn't footing the bill, even indirectly) for the girl he had first noticed at Archie's 5th birthday party, more than 20 years before.

She finally walked down the aisle, everyone standing to admire her... the white dress was flattering but not too revealing, and she wore a headpiece but no veil to hide her green eyes, soft pink lips, or radiant smile. Betty Cooper, soon to be Jones, had never looked better and that was saying something.

The gorgeous blonde stepped up onto the slightly raised platform, her strappy white heels lessening their usual height difference, and took his hand as the minister began the ceremony.

Finally the white haired man, who apparently grew up with Pop Tate here in Riverdale, looks at him properly and say "Jughead Jones, do you take Elizabeth Cooper to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?"

Betty smiled up at him as he turned to face her properly, pausing just a moment... and then saying 

"No, I do not"

The entire crowd gasped, but the dark haired man continued quickly.

"Sucks, doesn't it, to spend three years thinking someone cares about you and truly wants to be with you? Only to find out it was all a lie... ", pulling his hand away and adding spitefully "Good news is, Veronica was yelling at Archie about something earlier so he's probably down for a bit of meaningless kissing again... even some shower sex if you're really lucky", stepping away before the redhead who somehow thought they were still friends after everything could respond.

"Food is already paid for, everyone have fun" he called out, all but skipping as he walked down the aisle, already pulling up SINder and swiping right on every girl in Centerville, heading for the bike he had hidden nearby to ride down to the hotel he had booked, spending a night there before heading to LA to discuss the movie deals his agent was setting up. Maybe he could get the actresses who wanted to play 'Liz' from his books to... audition... properly.


End file.
